The Dean

Reality is out of order.

Monday, September 26, 2011

I was a one-celled organism with a plan.

I couldn’t move, so I just thought…

I thought of legs and arms and eyes

And love and war and sex.

I was a one-celled organism with a plan

And now I rule the world.

Posted by TheDean at 6:12 AM

TheDean: I was raised in the rain forests of Tanzania by a family of chimpanzees. Ookook-AaH was our leader. I have no recollection as to how I ever arrived there... a white boy in deepest greenest Africa. A happy life. When I was about 5 bananas tall, I had my first encounter with man. Poachers captured my family and ate their brains. I was put in a cage, about 6 bananas wide by 6 bananas high. There I would spend many moons, listening to the pristine jungle chant it's nightly spells. After 22 moons I was saved by a hairy woman who had been studying the chimpanzees. She adopted me as her own, and sent me to the "finest" school in Johannesburg. She estimates my age at 29. She named me Dean.

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